Jackie Chan Sucks and is Awesome

April 7, 2011

I’ve been a bit Jackie Chan crazy with posts lately, but it all must surrounding the fact that it is his birthday today! Happy Birthday Jackie! We are relieved that your twitter rumored death is greatly exaggerated. According to Jackie, even Will Smith was fooled by the twitter scam. If only Will had visited my blog, he would have known that Jackie’s death was crap from the get go. Other than not dying, Jackie had another big announcement: he’s donating all his assets to charity!

Jackie Chan Donates all his money to charity!
That’s a lot of Hong Kong Dollars

Pretty big statement. However he did make a big deak that no money will go to his son Jaycee Chan. Remember him from Invisible Target? I don’t really know how well Jackie and Jaycee get along, but i’m leaning towards the “not so positive” scale, especially if Jaycee originally fell for twitter scam. Jaycee even called Jackie to check if he was okay and was scolded by Jackie who said “Do you wish I were dead?”. Ouch. To add more salt on the wound, Jackie had this to say about Jaycee.

Jackie Chan on Jaycee Chan

Double ouch. I doubt that Will Smith would do the same to his son Jaden. Then again, Will Smith didn’t grow up at the Peking Opera School either. All in all, it sucks to be Jackie’s son, it’s awesome to be a Jackie Chan fan. Happy Birthday!



Schwarzenegger’s New Project

April 5, 2011

Arnold on his new cartoon

Uhh…alright this already has a stupid title of “The Governator” but let’s give it an honest look and see what this is. How does one follow Collateral Damage? Let’s watch and see.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Cartoon
Right. I’m totally fine with this being an animated kids show.
Just don’t make references to things kids don’t care abou…

Larry King Cartoon
Larry King? Did we enter the school of Red for retired old people?
Or do kids sneak out of bed to watch him late at night?

Governator Laser Pew Pew
Well…uhh….wha? I’m getting some serious Captain Planet vibes here.

Governator Matrix Parody
And I’m done here. If Matrix parodies didn’t get overdone by 2001, than how about doing them with Arnold while the Black Eyed Peas are playing?

I’m long grown out of watching shows intended for kids and I have no children of my own to watch this with. Even if I did, there’s better entertainment for them. I’d ignore this if it didn’t think it would last, but even Jackie Chan’s cartoon show lasted a whopping 5 seasons.

Jackie Chan Adventures

I wasn’t young enough to watch this either! But even the more mediocre films in Jackie’s filmography are far more entertaining for kids than this is! Stick with films and singing the theme songs to your films Jackie!


Is Jackie Chan Dead?

March 29, 2011
RIP Jackie Chan

Twitter goes nuts sometimes! The only source I’ve found for this mysterious Jackie Chan death that no news source has picked up is a website called “pastehtml” which looks like an Australian news site, but is actually a website offering free anonymous web hosting. Oh, exploitable!

My favourite part is the bogus Obama quote that includes information about Nate Dogg. I can’t wait to see what the Jackie Chan twitter account has to say about this. If anything at all. [Source: 3news]

Anyhow, a real actual update coming soon.


Gorgeous Thai Film Posters

March 16, 2011

I’m not nothing about how film promotion works in Thailand, but their posters always seem to make anything they advertise more interesting. They often seem to use using existing posters for a template, and then give them this exotic flair and painter like quality that are usually reserved for Indiana Jones or Star Wars film posters. This stylish Thai trend seemed to have existed from the 1970s to the 1990s and then it stopped. Does anyone know what happened? Why would they stop designing things as nice as these?

A View To Kill Thai Poster
A View to Kill (1985)

Rambo Thai poster
First Blood (1982)

Just Heroes poster
Just Heroes (1989)

La Femme Nikita Thai poster
Nikita (1990)

Police Story 2 Thai poster
Police Story 2 (1987)

The Terminator Thai poster
The Terminator (1984)

I have some more I may post another day and I have these files in a higher resolution if anyone is interested as well. Any requests?